Navigating High Conflict Coparenting - Strategy #4

Follow the “Facts Only” Rule. By creating a clearly defined child sharing agreement parents have little left to communicate about or agree on. When the child has a doctor's appointment or a school event like an open house, an email can be sent to the other parent. All communication should be written in a “memo” type of format. When sending an email, state the facts and only the facts. Write one topic per email. If there are three topics to resolve or manage, parents should write three separate emails. Emails should be short, between one to four sentences in length.

Only ask the other parent pertinent child sharing questions or only provide information that is essential to resolving the child’s needs or managing their school work, behavior or extracurricular activities. Any information in the email that is not related to that specific topic should be eliminated from the email.

EXAMPLES OF EMAIL COMMUNICATIONS DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT:

February 6,

John, I took Johnnie to Dr. Morris today. He has an ear infection. He needs one teaspoon of Amoxicillin four times a day. It needs to be refrigerated. He has had two doses today, the last one at 1:00 p.m. I left the medicine in the day care refrigerator.

Jeralyn

VACATION NOTIFICATION:

March 26,

Jeralyn: I plan to take the children on vacation to New York this summer from June 25-30. I will provide you with flight information once I have purchased the flights.

John