Navigating High Conflict Coparenting - Strategy #1

Top 5 Coparenting Strategies to “EX-Communicate" In A High Conflict Custody Dispute

When parents are in conflict over child sharing and child custody issues, there will always be tension between the parents. The tension is also felt by the children. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents permanently harms the children. The following coparenting strategies will help parents reduce their conflict and protect the children from being emotionally damaged.

Parents in conflict remain in heightened anxiety states all of the time. They are unable to nurture or reassure their children that everything will be “Ok.” Their children may feel disconnected from their parents. They may experience depression, loneliness and isolation. As children become more isolated from their parents, they become more afraid. They feel unsafe at home and this ripples out into their extended world of school, friends and activities. When a parent’s focus is on battling the “EX,” (the other parent), the children often become invisible to their parents. Parents must learn to calm down from their high anxiety state. Parents must create new bonds with their children so they feel loved, safe and connected to each of their parents again.

COPARENTING STRATEGY 1:

CONTACT + COMMUNICATION = CONFLICT

When parents increase their contact and/or communication with each other, their conflict will go up. When parents reduce their contact and communication with each other, their conflict will go down.

Controlling contact and communication between the parents reduces conflict and helps parents to take their children out of the middle. Children suffer the effects of their parent’s war. This leaves a permanent negative scar on the children as they move into adult relationships in the future. Many children end up feeling isolated, feeling fragile or feeling like they are insignificant as adults. When parents start to calm down, the children calm down.